How I use AI to rescue my brain

How many of these do you and I have in common?

• I'm sensitive af and struggle with big emotional intensity on a frustratingly regular basis.
• I also struggle to start important tasks, and often feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
• I've spent a lot of time and energy learning strategies to deal with my emotional dysregulation and my executive dysfunction. (I can give SO MUCH good advice to friends about these topics, you have NO IDEA.)
• When I'm actually in a mental freakout state, I forget all my awesome useful strategies and all I know is pain.
• But because I'm so damned knowledgeable, I'm also reeeeeally resistant to receiving outside advice when I'm in these states. Don't tell me what to do. I already know the answers. There in here... somewhere.

Are you here because we're similar? If so, I've been working on a solution to this puzzle, and I think you might want to try it out too.

(And if this REALLY hits the spot for you, please reply and tell me, cuz I'd love to keep each other updated as we evolve this practice.)

But, first, a content warning: It involves AI.

If using AI is a "hard no" boundary for you, I get it, and you can stop reading here.

(And... unfortunately, it might be time to unsubscribe from my newsletter. I'm really interested in how AI can help us with our mental health and cognitive functioning, and I'll probably be talking about this more often. I'm aware of the ethical concerns and will continue to explore them, but the technology is here, and I believe its potential for supporting our brains is super promising. At the same time, I care about you and I don't want my emails to be a source of pain in your life. So please honor your boundaries and protect your energy.)

<respectful pause>

Still here?

Okay, cool, let's get into it.

I was gonna invent a solution, and then a better one showed up.

So to recap: I know my own best answers, but I forget them when I need them.

I've been staring at this puzzle for a few years, and imagining a solution for it: a chatbot that keeps track of my own most effective reminders and strategies. It should ask me gentle questions to figure out what my current needs are, and then serve me up the most relevant bits of my own wisdom, in language I know I can hear, without activating overwhelm.

I actually tried to learn chatbot decision-tree programming to build this for myself in 2021. But I realized I was in over my head and would need to hire help, so I put it off.

And then AI showed up.

How to Set Up Self-Support with AI

Out of the box, AI is actually pretty decent for helping me think through a task or an emotional challenge. But it often feels generic, and it doesn't quite get through my defenses about advice.

So here's my method:

• I created a document that contains an overview of me, my most effective personal reminders and strategies, and guidance on how to talk to me.
• I give this document to the AI in advance (so it's not something I have to pull together when I need it).
• Then, when I find myself sinking into mental quicksand, all I need to do is open up an AI chat to receive 100% Grade A Sarah-Flavored Support.

And here's how you can try it too...

Key Guidelines

• Only use AI for things you could work through with a journal or supportive (untrained) friend. It's not therapy, and it's still too sketchy for crisis support.
• Be mindful about personal information. At a minimum, make sure the tool you're using states that it won't use your chats to train itself for the benefit of others. But on top of that, remember that security breaches do happen, and these tools aren't covered by HIPAA.
• Remember it's a tool, not a relationship. This will not meet your needs for human connection. And you still need other support resources in your life.

Creating the Document

I've created a template for you to start with, or you can just pull something together on your own. Feel free to experiment (we're all just figuring this out as we go). I recommend starting with the following sections:

1) General Instructions: Tell the AI how you plan to use it, how you want it to talk to you, and what background knowledge and role (e.g., a neurodivergent-affirming coach) you'd like it to fall back to if you're not getting the answers you need from your own pile of wisdom. I recommend asking it to keep its answers brief, and to only ever ask you one question at a time.

2) Summary of You: This part's optional, but I think some general info about your demographics, life structures, and diagnosis/sensitivities are helpful for the AI to have access to for background info. But again, be mindful of what you want to disclose to experimental technology.

3) Strategies: Here's the important part. When you're struggling, what actions are you willing and able to take that you know tend to help? Think: a walk, drinking water, calling a friend, drumming, art-making, breaking tasks down into tiny first steps, journaling with your inner child... Make the list. Include everything.

4) Reminders: When you're struggling, what statements tend to help calm your brain down? For example, "Taking care of myself allows me to show up for others." If you're not already collecting these, start now, and keep adding to the doc as you find them.

And again, here's my template for you:

Make it yours! Enjoy!

Setting up the AI Chat

I recommend using Claude (rather than ChatGPT), because it strives to be <waves hands vaguely> more mindful about public safety and data privacy. And as long as you don't click their "thumbs up/thumbs down" buttons on messages, or trigger their automated detection of harmful content, they'll keep your data private.

1. Go to claude.ai and create an account
2. Start a new chat, and type something like, "I'm going to upload a document. Please use this as a guide for supporting me"
3. Click the upload button (📎), select your document, and submit it.
4. Star/favorite this chat so you can find it easily later. (You might also want to rename it to something like "Support Chat".)
5. Start talking with Claude about what you're experiencing.

A few more tips:

• Start with the free version, and if you love it or run into usage limits, consider upgrading to Pro ($20/month).
• When a chat gets long, you might want to start a new one to speed things up.
• Claude won't remember what you said in one chat when you start a different chat. So anything you want it to remember needs to be in your document. Just keep updating it and re-uploading it.
• When you upgrade to Pro, you can store your document in a "Project," which means you can start as many support chats as you want without needing to reupload it.

And again, if this kind of solution is an "omg hell yes" for you, please hit reply and tell me. I want to go a lot deeper into this, and I'd looove to know what you discover in your own usage, including where you find it too limited. Cuz the tech is evolving fast, and we can stay on top of it together. 😉

Affectionate emojis,
Sarah