Hello Shiny Humans,
I think I made a wrong turn somewhere, and I'm finding my way out of it.
I've been working on a few essays that are important to me—with insights I've wanted to share publicly for a year—but they feel heavy and low on joy. I can smell my martyrdom coming back into the picture. It's the red flag voice that says...
🚩🚩 "This is worth my pain because it will help people." 🚩🚩
(No, love, we don't do that anymore. Also, people can tell when you're in this mode, and it's not as effective as you think.)
Meanwhile, another part of me—the one I recognize as my love for language—is bubbling up and just wants to play with words and connection, and not actually try to save the world today.
She dared me to give her a silly writing prompt, so I said, "Alright, how about you write a limerick... about stimming."
And pretty quickly, this came out of me:
There once was a kid who was flappy
and flippy and twisty and tappy.
He knew how to hail ya
with fun echolalia
And all of this made him quite happy.
And it made me smile. Hard.
(If it doesn't make sense to you, google 'autistic stimming', 'hand flapping', and 'echolalia' to catch up.)
So I tried another one. "Write a 'roses are red, violets are blue' poem about hyperfocus"
Roses are for you.
Violets are for me.
I’m so locked into this research
that I can’t even stop to pee.
Okay, I kinda see where this is going. How about... "Write a haiku about Nope Days."
I don’t wanna move.
Do Not Disturb enabled.
All y'alls can fuck off.
(This one was extra satisfying because my writing process has generated a nice string of Nope Days lately.)
So this message is just a personal check-in to say...
I'm gonna go investigate what these wordplay insights have to tell me, and see where they lead. I've started working with a new coach and joined a creativity support program, and am feeling some relief about having support for new approaches and perspectives. I'm excited about this new path I'm on, and I want to let it be fun and joyful.
I saw Lady Gaga in Las Vegas a few weeks ago (which was amazing), and just picked up tickets to see P!nk on tour.
I'm going to local museums and zoos.
I'm wandering around in redwood forests with Andrea Gibson's spoken word in my headphones, feeling into the movement and rhythm of their words. (If you want some deep word-love to wash over you, try Gospel Salt).
I'm exploring. I'm listening to my curiosity. It's telling me to put down what I've been wrestling with and try something new.
I'll keep you posted as I can, but there might be some longer pauses as I reorient.
I think I'm onto something, though. 😏